Manly Musings…

by Liam McNalley


“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”

I heard that old saying almost constantly when I was growing up. Television shows, commercials, magazine ads, you name it. I have but two words for that saying: horse, and shit. Seriously, the way to a man’s heart is slightly lower than his stomach. Let’s face it men are very easy to please. Women, on the other hand, not so much. I truly believe that one of the primary reasons I have been able to stay married to the same woman for thirty five years is because I like to cook for her.

There is something sensual about cooking for a woman… almost like making love to her with food. In my experience, a really good meal often leads to, uh, other things too.

Now, I don’t cook every meal. Most of what I prepare takes way too long for week nights, so my wife, who is an excellent cook, takes care of most meals during the week. Weekends are my time. I can take two to six hours, or even longer, to create something that will make her close her eyes, and produce sounds that could easily be used for the soundtrack of a porn flick. There is such a feeling of power in being able to illicit such a response, and I glory in it.

Holidays we split; she always does Thanksgiving, but Christmas dinner is all mine. I think there would be torches and pitchforks involved if I didn’t cook a standing rib roast, and Yorkshire pudding for that meal.

There are a few things that are quick enough for week nights, however, and I sneak in at least one every week. Just last night I stopped by the store on the way home and grabbed a pound of scallops. It took very little time to season them with black pepper, some blackening powder, and a touch of cayenne. I melted some butter in a skillet, and the rest was history. I received a huge hug, and a big wet, sloppy kiss for that meal. Steamed shrimp is another “quickie” that is perfect for week nights. The secret is to use one of those two-part steamer pots, so the shrimp is only kissed by steam, not drowning in liquid. Also, I never use water, only beer. My “patented” spice mixture; a blend of Old Bay, blackening powder, and Hungarian paprika puts it over the top.

Sure, maybe one of the reasons why our relationship has lasted so long is my lack of the “Hey bitch, go make me a sammich” attitude, but I firmly believe that she has kept me around just to see what culinary delight I will come up with next. I encourage every guy out there to learn some basic cooking skills, and surprise your gal with a meal sometime.  I actually feel kind of sorry for men that don’t cook, they, and the women in their life, have no idea  what they are missing.


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