Deviant Dolls: Welcome, Membership and Other Boring Shit We Have to Deal With

 

Welcome to Deviant Dolls.

So, what and who are we? We’re authors. Some of us poor bastards also have day jobs, because let’s face it, mortgages have to be paid and kids (of the human and furry variety) like to be fed. We are not a publisher, as we’ve explained, so don’t send us your shit. Not that it’s shit. It might be. We don’t know. We don’t care. What we want is bodies. Your bodies. And your minds. Okay, your soul. We like souls.

Wait, things have gone off the rails here. Let’s take a few steps back.

Deviant Dolls is about books, readers, and marketing, not always in that order. We write books. We must promote said books to readers. We love readers. If you don’t love readers, get outta here. Why are you writing anything? As a collective of authors, it is our goal to get as many of our weird, horrific, hilarious, edgy, outside the mainstream stories to readers. This means we need a network. Part of the purpose of the Dolls is to help each other find new readers and to keep our current readers happy. Not so hard, right? It is when you’re going it alone.

So, are you still interested? Well, we don’t have a lot of hoops to jump through, but we do have some criteria members of this gang must meet. These are as follows:

Balls

Metaphorical or literal, you’ve gotta have balls to be a Doll. Why? We aren’t about pussy-footing around the shit. We want to take risks and want authors who aren’t afraid to take a leap with us. If you’re worried about image or think you’re fancy, walk away now.

Books

Members of Deviant Dolls must have books published (indie and/or traditional) in the genres listed on the main page. This includes horror, comedy, erotica and everything in between or just outside. If it’s edgy, a little over the line, a little outside the line, or so far away from the line we don’t even know what to call it, then it’s a book for the Dolls. We don’t have a minimum requirement, but let’s say if you’ve just published your very first book, you MUST meet more than a couple of the other criteria to make the cut.

Also, we expect a certain level of professionalism in regard to said books. If we read a sample of your work online (and it’d be handy for you to send us a link to where we might do so if you don’t have a look inside feature available for your books), and there are numerous typos, spelling/grammatical errors, or the storytelling is just plain awful, we’ll deny membership. Why? We don’t believe ourselves to be the highest judge of what makes good fiction, but there are basic standards every author should strive to achieve. We’re promoting you to our readers, so we ask that your books meet those basic standards.

Social Media Presence

If you aren’t on social media, just keep walking. Social media is a valuable tool for networking and marketing. If you don’t believe this, then you won’t fit in here. How big of a presence do we want? You must be active on at least one site, preferably more, and have some kind of following.  Let’s face it, as a member, we’re sharing our loyal readers and followers with you, it’s only fair we get the same in return.

Commitment

We don’t expect a lot out of our members, but participation is a MUST. We require a strong if not emphatic willingness to promote DD’s brand, because our brand is YOU. If you can’t be bothered, we’re not above kicking your ass out. Do you have to blog every day? No. Every week? No. By commitment we mean you must be willing to promote each other and participate in the collective in some meaningful way on a regular, consistent basis. Blog posts are most welcome. If you want to write one every month, that’s great. Every week, you’re nuts, but also great. Every three months, sure.  We know life takes priority, so we’re not assholes about it, but anyone who consistently opts out isn’t an ideal candidate for a collective of authors.

Big Girl Pants

Or big boy, whichever you prefer to wear. By this we mean, play nicely. Drama queens, don’t let the door hit you on the way out. If you can’t get along with someone, learn how to tolerate them. No bullying. No whining. No bullshit or drama. If we see any behavior that crosses the line, or that is cruel or anything drama related, we will eliminate the parties responsible from membership. Members who feel they’re having a serious issue with another member, for whatever reason, may contact DD’s founding members (Katrina, Renee, or Hanna) and we will deal with the matter accordingly. However, if you’re just butt-hurt because you like to be butt-hurt, sorry, but our answer will be “grow up.” Ideal candidates are not easily offended. Actually, it should be pretty hard to offend you at all. If you’re easily shocked, upset, angered, etc. this is not the group for you.

On Pen Names and Alter Egos

We don’t care if you’re boy or girl or something in between. We don’t care if you’d rather wear a mask and a cape when you venture into the big bad publishing landscape. That’s cool. We only ask that authors using pen names reveal their true identity, and a way to verify this, to one of the founding members, for reasons. We will not breathe a word of your real name to anyone, not even each other, if that’s what you wish.

 

And that’s all we ask. If you’re still interested, contact us at deviantdollspub@gmail.com. Include “Membership” in the subject line, and in your email, give us links to your social media and books, so we might creep a few pages and check you out. As a fun way to screen new members, we’d also like you to tell us why you want to be part of DD. Your answer doesn’t really matter. Such things amuse us.

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